He gave me roses.
He listens to me.
He appologizes.
He calls me out when I am wrong.
He asks the tough questions.
He massages my back when it aches.
He lets me sleep in his lap.
He cares.
He loves me.
I love him too.
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Sunday, September 27, 2009
The Sarah Project: Day 15
I'm not as emo anymore.
Scendence at the State Fair was really good. I'm still wearing their hoodie. And I would like them if my boyfriend wasn't the bassist, but honestly he is so now I have an excuse, and a ride, to attend shows. The band is really nice. They are all very very different people though, which is also great.
About my life, its a little insane right now. I used to find solace in my education. It was a place I ran to, because I knew that in my own little world, I could do something that was about myself, not my family. Something not about trying to be the mediator. Well, as valedictorian of my high-school class, I put so much pressure on myself, I forgot that their were other things that I needed to do to stay healthy. To be myself. So now, that college is super intense, all I want is another way to define myself, to be. And I know that it can't be about taking care of anyone but myself. So I'm still looking.
Things I Enjoy:
1. Watching certian television series. My favorites are True Blood and Brothers & Sisters.
2. Dresses.
3. Hanging with certian people - other people that are my friends, or were, just annoy me now.
4. Writing.
5. Reading for pleasure (not school). Penelope Fitzgerald is good and if you want to win my heart - I love Sarah Dessen novels.
6. Cooking/Baking/Chocolate Making
7. Arts and Crafts - card making, embossing, scrapbooking, sewing, all crafts
Things that I Still Need:
1. A Best Friend who understands me for who I am
2. A Career
3. A New Back
4. A Place of my Own
5. A favorite Sport
6. Something to Define Myself further with
Sincerely,
Sarah
Scendence at the State Fair was really good. I'm still wearing their hoodie. And I would like them if my boyfriend wasn't the bassist, but honestly he is so now I have an excuse, and a ride, to attend shows. The band is really nice. They are all very very different people though, which is also great.
About my life, its a little insane right now. I used to find solace in my education. It was a place I ran to, because I knew that in my own little world, I could do something that was about myself, not my family. Something not about trying to be the mediator. Well, as valedictorian of my high-school class, I put so much pressure on myself, I forgot that their were other things that I needed to do to stay healthy. To be myself. So now, that college is super intense, all I want is another way to define myself, to be. And I know that it can't be about taking care of anyone but myself. So I'm still looking.
Things I Enjoy:
1. Watching certian television series. My favorites are True Blood and Brothers & Sisters.
2. Dresses.
3. Hanging with certian people - other people that are my friends, or were, just annoy me now.
4. Writing.
5. Reading for pleasure (not school). Penelope Fitzgerald is good and if you want to win my heart - I love Sarah Dessen novels.
6. Cooking/Baking/Chocolate Making
7. Arts and Crafts - card making, embossing, scrapbooking, sewing, all crafts
Things that I Still Need:
1. A Best Friend who understands me for who I am
2. A Career
3. A New Back
4. A Place of my Own
5. A favorite Sport
6. Something to Define Myself further with
Sincerely,
Sarah
Thursday, September 24, 2009
The Sarah Project: Day 14
I wish I held you in my hand
Sparkly, Glittery, on the mend,
But instead you hold me in your grip
At the will of your quivering lip.
I've been thinking in this time I set aside
Do I really want to sacrifice my pride
Sometimes you're crazy and you're right
Why is this a single-souled formidable fight?
I wish that I didn't have to doubt,
But am I taking the valorous route?
You never keep me in the loop
Are we together for the physical whoop?
I wish that I could talk to you,
But somehow I'm just too blue.
I haven't breathed in awhile,
I think some time will be a trial,
Where under your busy facade,
I can take a trip to my own aid,
And when I'm ready to talk about a "we" -
Then, then we'll see.
Sparkly, Glittery, on the mend,
But instead you hold me in your grip
At the will of your quivering lip.
I've been thinking in this time I set aside
Do I really want to sacrifice my pride
Sometimes you're crazy and you're right
Why is this a single-souled formidable fight?
I wish that I didn't have to doubt,
But am I taking the valorous route?
You never keep me in the loop
Are we together for the physical whoop?
I wish that I could talk to you,
But somehow I'm just too blue.
I haven't breathed in awhile,
I think some time will be a trial,
Where under your busy facade,
I can take a trip to my own aid,
And when I'm ready to talk about a "we" -
Then, then we'll see.
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
The Sarah Project: Day 13
Things that pissed me off today:
1. Censored
2. I fed the ducks right out of my hand. When I went to shew them away, I spilled all my fries. Ugh.
3. How cold it was this morning - I had to get out of bed.
4. When I did well on my Bio test and called my mom I told her I loved Biology. It was the thing for me. She sighed. "What are you going to do with that?" I wish I was raised to have dreams not realities.
5. Censored
6. That you don't understand my depression.
7. Having depression
8. The text I got about going to the gym. Go by yourself. Don't blame your lack of gym time because I don't want to go.
9. I have to go to OChem right now.
10. My back hurts.
Things that should make me happy about today that I should focus on instead of the above:
1. I find that I love biology. Its what I want to do.
2. I fed the ducks. And had a chicken sandwich.
3. I did awesome on my Genetics test.
4. I don't have to do anything that I don't want to.
5. I saw a grasshopper and poked it.
6. I get to sleep tonight?
Sincerely,
Sarah
1. Censored
2. I fed the ducks right out of my hand. When I went to shew them away, I spilled all my fries. Ugh.
3. How cold it was this morning - I had to get out of bed.
4. When I did well on my Bio test and called my mom I told her I loved Biology. It was the thing for me. She sighed. "What are you going to do with that?" I wish I was raised to have dreams not realities.
5. Censored
6. That you don't understand my depression.
7. Having depression
8. The text I got about going to the gym. Go by yourself. Don't blame your lack of gym time because I don't want to go.
9. I have to go to OChem right now.
10. My back hurts.
Things that should make me happy about today that I should focus on instead of the above:
1. I find that I love biology. Its what I want to do.
2. I fed the ducks. And had a chicken sandwich.
3. I did awesome on my Genetics test.
4. I don't have to do anything that I don't want to.
5. I saw a grasshopper and poked it.
6. I get to sleep tonight?
Sincerely,
Sarah
Saturday, September 19, 2009
The Sarah Project: Day 12
Just fair warning - this may be a little depressing/rant-like/annoying...or whatever.
I'm just so....sad. But its not just that, its that I physically don't have enough energy to move, the aches and pains, the inability to do what I need to, the lack of motivation, etc. I don't really have a reason for it. My boyfriend is more than adorable. I have no secrets from anyone. I am not underappreciated, abused, neglected, or hated.
I didn't get much sleep over the past few days - early appointments or school activities. Most if it was really my fault for not going to bed sooner and for going out with my boyfriend instead of sleeping. I think that this has a correlation with my mild chronic depression. Less than 6 hours of sleep, multiple days in a row = sad sluggish Sarah.
In high school, I used to be a powerhouse for getting things done - my homework, my chores, my hobbies and little projects. Then somewhere, around Senior year, it just all caught up to me and I'm still paying for it. Those nights I didn't sleep, the studying, the overxertion - now I have terrible back-pain, headaches, malaise, depression - you name it. Why did I do it? Why did I try so hard? - So I could get paid to go to college. So I could be responsible, because I wanted to be a good kid, to be appreciated. Because at one point - I was the glue. That's my litttle secret isn't it. I was the glue that held my family together - then my sister came home from college and I grew up. Everything fell apart so badly, I threw myself into my education. Then when I went off to college I crumbled. Like a cookie in warm milk. I worked so hard for my goals that when I finally reached them, I nearly died. I lost it. I had several breakdowns. Many of you were there to withness them. I had so many depressed low moments - I'm surprised I made it through. There was therapy, there was self-talk, there was changing the way I thought. Now I have a better grasp of who I am. I know that it is my responsibility to take care of myself, no one else. I'm able to have a successful relationship, where I don't need him, I want to be with him. But still, I get mildly depressed.
Healing is a process. It might take me the rest of my life.I dont' really know. But I know that I am strong. I am one of the strongest people I know. And I'll pull through it. Just, this time, I think I throw myself into myself, not my education, and not someone else.
Sincerely,
Sarah
I'm just so....sad. But its not just that, its that I physically don't have enough energy to move, the aches and pains, the inability to do what I need to, the lack of motivation, etc. I don't really have a reason for it. My boyfriend is more than adorable. I have no secrets from anyone. I am not underappreciated, abused, neglected, or hated.
I didn't get much sleep over the past few days - early appointments or school activities. Most if it was really my fault for not going to bed sooner and for going out with my boyfriend instead of sleeping. I think that this has a correlation with my mild chronic depression. Less than 6 hours of sleep, multiple days in a row = sad sluggish Sarah.
In high school, I used to be a powerhouse for getting things done - my homework, my chores, my hobbies and little projects. Then somewhere, around Senior year, it just all caught up to me and I'm still paying for it. Those nights I didn't sleep, the studying, the overxertion - now I have terrible back-pain, headaches, malaise, depression - you name it. Why did I do it? Why did I try so hard? - So I could get paid to go to college. So I could be responsible, because I wanted to be a good kid, to be appreciated. Because at one point - I was the glue. That's my litttle secret isn't it. I was the glue that held my family together - then my sister came home from college and I grew up. Everything fell apart so badly, I threw myself into my education. Then when I went off to college I crumbled. Like a cookie in warm milk. I worked so hard for my goals that when I finally reached them, I nearly died. I lost it. I had several breakdowns. Many of you were there to withness them. I had so many depressed low moments - I'm surprised I made it through. There was therapy, there was self-talk, there was changing the way I thought. Now I have a better grasp of who I am. I know that it is my responsibility to take care of myself, no one else. I'm able to have a successful relationship, where I don't need him, I want to be with him. But still, I get mildly depressed.
Healing is a process. It might take me the rest of my life.I dont' really know. But I know that I am strong. I am one of the strongest people I know. And I'll pull through it. Just, this time, I think I throw myself into myself, not my education, and not someone else.
Sincerely,
Sarah
Monday, September 14, 2009
The Sarah Project: Day 11 "I've Got a Feeling..that tonight's gonna be a good night"
I have a problem. A serious one. I'm addicted to online television. I know this because in a one week period, I've watched all of Dollhouse, all of 10 Things I Hate About You (the sitcom - terrible), all of True Blood, and at least four Surf-the-Channel movies. It's a terrible.
I just finished the last Gossip Girl - and I was smart enough to only watch the last one, not start at the beginning and get lost in it.
I really don't know why I'm doing this.
I have hours of other things to do. Cleaning. Homework. Hanging with friends. But I keep going back to the internets. That being said, I'm going to brainstorm other things to do.
1) Go to the Career Fair tomorrow and get a job. Seriously.
2) Finish an art project in my closet. (The afghan, cross-stitching tapestry, christmas ornaments, or skirt I used to be sewing.)
3) Travel somewhere fun on the weekend, like Madrid, NM or the Grand Canyon, or something.
4) Catch up or get ahead in class.
5) Go to the gym more. Really.
6) Wash/clean/fix up my car.
7) Decorate/redecorate parts of the apartment (it doesn't really need it though.)
8) Write a song or poem or fiction novel.
9) Save the Mole Rats...or the Polar Bears...or well, the cockroaches on my front porch.
10) Invent a new brand of chocolate in my kitchen.
Other interesting tidbits from my boring day - - -
-My chem partner of more than a year thinks I look like the main female character from the movie Taken. I don't think he was hitting on me, but it was a confidence boost, nonetheless.
-A guy at the library checked me out (no pun intended) and the above lab partner pointed it out obviously.
- I angered my TA at least 5 times in the Chem Lab when he caught me pouring water from a pitcher into a small 10mL graduated cylinder, when I didn't attach the hose onto the water pump securely and drenched a few people, when I kept asking questions he didn't know how to respond to because he is from China, when I forgot my googles, and when I shoved our yeast fermented lab-created MOONSHINE under his nose to make sure the fermentation was successful.
- I created a program that approximates pi in two ways.
- I made the BEST EVER STUFFED GREEN BELL PEPPERS with my roommate for dinner and they were SOOOOO GOOOD.
That's about it.
Oh and yeah - Sat. I watched live Jazz with the wonderful boyfriend for class and it was awesome.
Also, Troll II is about GOBLINS, and I don't think that's quite right. Also, its THE ONE AND ONLY WORST MOVIE OF ALL TIME...and a product of my watching television on the internet.
Sincerely,
Sarah
I just finished the last Gossip Girl - and I was smart enough to only watch the last one, not start at the beginning and get lost in it.
I really don't know why I'm doing this.
I have hours of other things to do. Cleaning. Homework. Hanging with friends. But I keep going back to the internets. That being said, I'm going to brainstorm other things to do.
1) Go to the Career Fair tomorrow and get a job. Seriously.
2) Finish an art project in my closet. (The afghan, cross-stitching tapestry, christmas ornaments, or skirt I used to be sewing.)
3) Travel somewhere fun on the weekend, like Madrid, NM or the Grand Canyon, or something.
4) Catch up or get ahead in class.
5) Go to the gym more. Really.
6) Wash/clean/fix up my car.
7) Decorate/redecorate parts of the apartment (it doesn't really need it though.)
8) Write a song or poem or fiction novel.
9) Save the Mole Rats...or the Polar Bears...or well, the cockroaches on my front porch.
10) Invent a new brand of chocolate in my kitchen.
Other interesting tidbits from my boring day - - -
-My chem partner of more than a year thinks I look like the main female character from the movie Taken. I don't think he was hitting on me, but it was a confidence boost, nonetheless.
-A guy at the library checked me out (no pun intended) and the above lab partner pointed it out obviously.
- I angered my TA at least 5 times in the Chem Lab when he caught me pouring water from a pitcher into a small 10mL graduated cylinder, when I didn't attach the hose onto the water pump securely and drenched a few people, when I kept asking questions he didn't know how to respond to because he is from China, when I forgot my googles, and when I shoved our yeast fermented lab-created MOONSHINE under his nose to make sure the fermentation was successful.
- I created a program that approximates pi in two ways.
- I made the BEST EVER STUFFED GREEN BELL PEPPERS with my roommate for dinner and they were SOOOOO GOOOD.
That's about it.
Oh and yeah - Sat. I watched live Jazz with the wonderful boyfriend for class and it was awesome.
Also, Troll II is about GOBLINS, and I don't think that's quite right. Also, its THE ONE AND ONLY WORST MOVIE OF ALL TIME...and a product of my watching television on the internet.
Sincerely,
Sarah
Friday, September 11, 2009
The Sarah Project: What I'm Calling Day 10
So its been a few days since I posted. Maybe 3 or 4. I'm thinking that because it may be literally impossible for me to blog everyday because of lets say too many ninja attacks, or a zombie apocalyse, or something close to those, like a busy life with school and an boyfriend - I'm going to write until I've written 365 different times. So...355 to go.
I had the BEST night tongiht. I went and saw the movie "9" which was decent, and I fell in love all over again with my caring and understanding boyfriend. (Which I do almost every time I see him.) He tends to be the subject of at least an 1/8th of my posts, because I continue to find him and our relationship fascinating and satisfying. So, I'm going to introduce you.
He is funny. And I don't mean sarcastic funny or punny funny - he is seriously a goofy and comedic funny. For, I'd say the past two weeks, he's adopted a Scotish accent, just because, and so he can use it when his band plays at the State Fair. Now when I mean adopted an accent, I mean he talks to friends, strangers, teachers, and me, as this ridiculous and adorable Scotish exchange student. More things that are hilarious - we sing the ABCs together. He starts with A, and for some reason, I follow. We went fabric shopping together so that he could make a cape. He feeds me only when its inappropriate, and in an undelicate manner - usually shoving something into my mouth. He likes to blow raspberries on my cheeks. He's super ticklish. (Okay, maybe only I thinks that's really funny :-) )
Other things: He likes watching Gilmore Girls for kicks, playing bass, teaching kids music, the colors blue and red, eating good food, music, movies, longboarding, and hanging with friends. He doesn't like institutions that over-charge or exhort people, including the film industry and music labels. We both like chocolate with mint (Junior mints, Andes, etc.), pickles, Wendy's, and salsa and chips. He is a Communications Major in Advertising. He plays a bass for Scendence. He raps for another independent music project aimed to play off of social idocies, like Raptor Jesus and Dragonforce. He likes cuddling. He knows instinctivly to hold my hand when I place it near my side at the movie theatre. He knows when I'm about to freak out or lose my emotional stability and instantly calms me down. He can look me in the eyes and I know, I know, that I am safe, that he cares, and that everything is going to be okay. He hates it when I start my car with the A/C on, or when I drive around with less than a half tank. He respects my boundaries and has his own.
He apologizes, he verbalizes how he feels, he calls me out on my shit, and he is always honest.
There is more, but for now, that's all you need to know.
<3
Sincerely,
Sarah
I had the BEST night tongiht. I went and saw the movie "9" which was decent, and I fell in love all over again with my caring and understanding boyfriend. (Which I do almost every time I see him.) He tends to be the subject of at least an 1/8th of my posts, because I continue to find him and our relationship fascinating and satisfying. So, I'm going to introduce you.
He is funny. And I don't mean sarcastic funny or punny funny - he is seriously a goofy and comedic funny. For, I'd say the past two weeks, he's adopted a Scotish accent, just because, and so he can use it when his band plays at the State Fair. Now when I mean adopted an accent, I mean he talks to friends, strangers, teachers, and me, as this ridiculous and adorable Scotish exchange student. More things that are hilarious - we sing the ABCs together. He starts with A, and for some reason, I follow. We went fabric shopping together so that he could make a cape. He feeds me only when its inappropriate, and in an undelicate manner - usually shoving something into my mouth. He likes to blow raspberries on my cheeks. He's super ticklish. (Okay, maybe only I thinks that's really funny :-) )
Other things: He likes watching Gilmore Girls for kicks, playing bass, teaching kids music, the colors blue and red, eating good food, music, movies, longboarding, and hanging with friends. He doesn't like institutions that over-charge or exhort people, including the film industry and music labels. We both like chocolate with mint (Junior mints, Andes, etc.), pickles, Wendy's, and salsa and chips. He is a Communications Major in Advertising. He plays a bass for Scendence. He raps for another independent music project aimed to play off of social idocies, like Raptor Jesus and Dragonforce. He likes cuddling. He knows instinctivly to hold my hand when I place it near my side at the movie theatre. He knows when I'm about to freak out or lose my emotional stability and instantly calms me down. He can look me in the eyes and I know, I know, that I am safe, that he cares, and that everything is going to be okay. He hates it when I start my car with the A/C on, or when I drive around with less than a half tank. He respects my boundaries and has his own.
He apologizes, he verbalizes how he feels, he calls me out on my shit, and he is always honest.
There is more, but for now, that's all you need to know.
<3
Sincerely,
Sarah
Monday, September 7, 2009
The Sarah Project: Day 9
Headache. Backpain. OChem test tommorrow I haven't studied for. I'm very passive and a procrastinator.
Had the talk I needed to have. Compromise reached.
Now I need to study.
Will act more like a human when things die down.
Sincerely,
Sarah
Had the talk I needed to have. Compromise reached.
Now I need to study.
Will act more like a human when things die down.
Sincerely,
Sarah
Sunday, September 6, 2009
The Sarah Project: Day 8 (357 to Go!)
Hummingbird
I watch it float seemlessly above me,
I see it flap so hard the wings meld together,
Could I catch it, if I tried harder?
So busy it eludes me.
Statsis - I don't move.
Tears because I can't touch it.
Terror because its unreachable.
Grasping, reaching, screaming,
I wear myself out..
I can't do anything else.
I should though. I should move.
I need to get home, to be safe.
Lonliness prevents me.
I want to hold it; I want to be held by it.
Oh, how I desire to fall into you!
Little bird, be big for me now,
I'm crying - wipe the tears.
I'm strong, my best friend says.
I'm STRONG.
Remember when you were so strong?
I feel so weak.
I succeed, I step forward, I move on.
I forget lonliness.
But this time, the little hummingbird follows me.
~Sarah
We measure strength in different ways. We love in different ways. We need the same things.
Carry on. You can hold yourself. You can hold yourself up.
I watch it float seemlessly above me,
I see it flap so hard the wings meld together,
Could I catch it, if I tried harder?
So busy it eludes me.
Statsis - I don't move.
Tears because I can't touch it.
Terror because its unreachable.
Grasping, reaching, screaming,
I wear myself out..
I can't do anything else.
I should though. I should move.
I need to get home, to be safe.
Lonliness prevents me.
I want to hold it; I want to be held by it.
Oh, how I desire to fall into you!
Little bird, be big for me now,
I'm crying - wipe the tears.
I'm strong, my best friend says.
I'm STRONG.
Remember when you were so strong?
I feel so weak.
I succeed, I step forward, I move on.
I forget lonliness.
But this time, the little hummingbird follows me.
~Sarah
We measure strength in different ways. We love in different ways. We need the same things.
Carry on. You can hold yourself. You can hold yourself up.
The Sarah Project: Let Dreams Be Real (Day 7, posted on Day 8)
For Saturday -
I woke up next to a man that got me to stay for his birthday, because he quoted that his mom would make us breakfast in the morning. You're awesome Doug. So is the Fearsome Fivesome. Well, now that its back, or errr...now that I'm not being retarded. So this is a copy of what I posted there at thefearfive.blogspot.com.
-----------------------------
Would you like tea or coffee while you decide what to paint, Lily?
She used her right arm to tuck her long brown hair behind her right ear. She smiled softly not knowing what to say. This isn’t her place. It isn’t her place to make the decision. It is her friend’s responsibility. Or it was. That was before she, before she, became no longer capable.
Tea, please. Meghan’s going to wake up today.
Lily, replied. The parents, those caring people that didn’t know their daughter at all, were visiting with the doctors. They had given up. Lily wondered – did they really care about her? Meghan had been doing better. She screamed in her sleep at night. She held her belly sometimes. She shook her head.
We sure hope so.
Lily had been at the Neuropsychiatric Institution in Utah for a long time. It was her home. Locked into a wheelchair, not able to walk since the day she entered the Institution all bandaged from the “accident,” she stared at the woman.
Yes, yes we do.
And she continued to paint. She painted with her tears of a world where she knew how to walk. A world where her and Meghan traveled, laughed, and smiled. A world where that nice, tall boy that kissed the young blonde doctor, held Meghan’s hand too. A world where the afflicted caretaker had no worries, except getting whooped at chess by a woman that made him not only smile, but glow. She painted herself in the picture, in the corner, not alone but instead a part of everyone she loved. She held a hummingbird in her hand. He loved her. Then she finished the painting, closed her eyes, and prayed.
And Meghan woke up.
---------------------------------------------
Sincerely,
Sarah
I woke up next to a man that got me to stay for his birthday, because he quoted that his mom would make us breakfast in the morning. You're awesome Doug. So is the Fearsome Fivesome. Well, now that its back, or errr...now that I'm not being retarded. So this is a copy of what I posted there at thefearfive.blogspot.com.
-----------------------------
Would you like tea or coffee while you decide what to paint, Lily?
She used her right arm to tuck her long brown hair behind her right ear. She smiled softly not knowing what to say. This isn’t her place. It isn’t her place to make the decision. It is her friend’s responsibility. Or it was. That was before she, before she, became no longer capable.
Tea, please. Meghan’s going to wake up today.
Lily, replied. The parents, those caring people that didn’t know their daughter at all, were visiting with the doctors. They had given up. Lily wondered – did they really care about her? Meghan had been doing better. She screamed in her sleep at night. She held her belly sometimes. She shook her head.
We sure hope so.
Lily had been at the Neuropsychiatric Institution in Utah for a long time. It was her home. Locked into a wheelchair, not able to walk since the day she entered the Institution all bandaged from the “accident,” she stared at the woman.
Yes, yes we do.
And she continued to paint. She painted with her tears of a world where she knew how to walk. A world where her and Meghan traveled, laughed, and smiled. A world where that nice, tall boy that kissed the young blonde doctor, held Meghan’s hand too. A world where the afflicted caretaker had no worries, except getting whooped at chess by a woman that made him not only smile, but glow. She painted herself in the picture, in the corner, not alone but instead a part of everyone she loved. She held a hummingbird in her hand. He loved her. Then she finished the painting, closed her eyes, and prayed.
And Meghan woke up.
---------------------------------------------
Sincerely,
Sarah
Friday, September 4, 2009
The Sarah Project: Day 6
I'm sitting in a friends house, watching a group of assorted people play Dungeons and Dragons, eating a rice krispy treat. I'm simply enjoying the presence of others, allowing myself to be comfortable in my humanity. Not playing tonight, I'm observing. To observe others you must realise that you are a part of the interaction yourself, and are not just observing objectively, but rather all your observations are extensions of yourself. Casey's smile, Shannon's knitting, Eli's laugh, Tony's feet panging against the floor, Andy's leadership, and Tyler's nonchalance, are all in my view; all a part of me.
I came to find myself perched on a bar stool around a table of DnD madness when I followed my roommate out of the apartment, not wanting to be left alone. Don't get me wrong - I didn't follow her like a puppy. There are moments that I love to be by myself. Rather, this instance, I followed her out of desire. A desire to be with other people, similar to me or otherwise.
Isn't that what drives us? A Desire. A Desire to .
All human action is fueled by a desire.
So what is it that we desire?
What is it that you desire?
What is it that I desire?
Doesn't all suffering and pain come with a conflict in what we desire?
Doesn't all joy come in the completion and exhaltation of what we desire?
Thoughtful, nerdy, content, and one with my humanity,
Sincerely,
Sarah
I came to find myself perched on a bar stool around a table of DnD madness when I followed my roommate out of the apartment, not wanting to be left alone. Don't get me wrong - I didn't follow her like a puppy. There are moments that I love to be by myself. Rather, this instance, I followed her out of desire. A desire to be with other people, similar to me or otherwise.
Isn't that what drives us? A Desire. A Desire to .
All human action is fueled by a desire.
So what is it that we desire?
What is it that you desire?
What is it that I desire?
Doesn't all suffering and pain come with a conflict in what we desire?
Doesn't all joy come in the completion and exhaltation of what we desire?
Thoughtful, nerdy, content, and one with my humanity,
Sincerely,
Sarah
Thursday, September 3, 2009
The Sarah Project: Day 5 (A little late)
I have a full stomach, someone who loves me more than I could imagine (thanks mom), and someone who loves me, not because of any reason, but he just does.
For now, I am content.
Goodnight and take care,
A Very Sleepy,
A Very Happy,
Sarah
For now, I am content.
Goodnight and take care,
A Very Sleepy,
A Very Happy,
Sarah
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
The Sarah Project: Day 4 (Barely)
I worked on a photo project today and finished a Matlab program. In short - I almost forgot to blog.
Alcohol Use:
In moderation, for the right reasons (social atmosphere), with the right people, and at the right maturity.
Not for addiction, depression, overcoming shyness, or to look cool.
I think I'll drink when I'm ready, legally, at the right maturity, for the right reasons, with the right people, and in moderation.
Relationships:
I'm going to make a bold statement: Communication is more important than passion in a romantic relationship. Being able to compromise to meet eachother's needs, as well as fully talking and working through difficulties, whether personal or within the relationship, is more important than passionate or pleasurable intimacy.
Thus, sex is not necessary for a successful romantic relationship.
Have a wonderful Thursday,
Go Class, Take Notes,
Sincerely,
Sarah
Alcohol Use:
In moderation, for the right reasons (social atmosphere), with the right people, and at the right maturity.
Not for addiction, depression, overcoming shyness, or to look cool.
I think I'll drink when I'm ready, legally, at the right maturity, for the right reasons, with the right people, and in moderation.
Relationships:
I'm going to make a bold statement: Communication is more important than passion in a romantic relationship. Being able to compromise to meet eachother's needs, as well as fully talking and working through difficulties, whether personal or within the relationship, is more important than passionate or pleasurable intimacy.
Thus, sex is not necessary for a successful romantic relationship.
Have a wonderful Thursday,
Go Class, Take Notes,
Sincerely,
Sarah
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
The Sarah Project: Day 3
Happy Birthday, Dougles!
Relationships:
I have two questions -
How often do you talk to the person your in a relationship with?
Seriously, what is the most important thing in a relationship to you, that makes it successful?
I felt it shelter to speak to you. ~Emily Dickinson
To know when to go away and when to come closer is the key to any lasting relationship. ~Doménico Cieri Estrada
More follow-up on the alcohol discussion to come.
Relationships:
I have two questions -
How often do you talk to the person your in a relationship with?
Seriously, what is the most important thing in a relationship to you, that makes it successful?
I felt it shelter to speak to you. ~Emily Dickinson
To know when to go away and when to come closer is the key to any lasting relationship. ~Doménico Cieri Estrada
More follow-up on the alcohol discussion to come.
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