I'm at the University of Washington South Campus Center studying for Autumn Quarter finals. This week will encompass five of my very first finals as a doctoral student, and I'm staring out the window at the water, like a second grader daydreaming in math class.
Pharmacy school is way harder than I thought it would be. While I'm prepared, I do believe that it is the hardest thing I've ever tried to accomplish. My mother and I had a conversation a few days ago. It was about how I grew up defining myself by the success I had in school. When you get straight As and your family is proud of you, eventually you start to see yourself as the one that is good at school. Then you feel like you've failed if you do any less than Summa Cum Laude. I realized that my internal pressure to be perfect academically isn't exactly healthy. I don't want to be defined only for my academic success. I want to do well, but I also want to get better at ceramics, fall in love, make life long friends and keep them, and lose the stress weight. There is so much more to me than books.
So hence, while I haven't made as much progress figuring out who I am as I'd like, at least this week I figured out why.
And for your information, I am proud that I'm going to hold on to Bs this week. And that I can relax a bit and still succeed.
Anyone want to tell me how they define their success?
Sincerely,
Sarah Buterblog
P.S. As soon as I have a bit more time, I'm going to tell you about Jason. Jason is my boyfriend and he is a really sweet guy. Its been hard for me to admit that I'm excited to be with someone again. And that this relationship could last. It takes me a long time to tell him that I'm upset. It takes him about three minutes to fix it. More to come, I promise. - Sarah
Saturday, December 8, 2012
Wednesday, December 5, 2012
TSP 49: I'm Not A Writer
I know that you don't want a list of the things I've been doing tonight. Or the things I'm doing right now. I could give you a lesson on science, reiterate the antioxidant properties of blueberries, or have a classic introspective Buterblog moment of angst.
Or I could just level with you. I'm not sure where I'm going with this blog tonight. I tried to illicit a striking moment of brilliance. I had a cup of Trader Joe's Vanilla and Cinnamon tea in my beautiful hand-thrown pottery mug. Realizing that wasn't enough, I started drinking a bottle of Shock Top. I won't admit to drinking both at the same time with different hands, but that may or may not have happened.
Moving on, I'll let some actual writers have your attention:
Wordless Scribe
Doug Wood is traveling around the world writing about his experiences. I've watched him grow into his own skin, and in my opinion he is one of the best writers of my generation. His voice is honest, real, and comes from a place of sharing within him that the rest of us wish we could access in ourselves. While I tried hard not to make mistakes in high school and beyond, Doug learned from his and became a better person. But I digress, you could just simply follow his blog.
"There are things you just can't do in life. You can't beat the phone company, you can't make a waiter see you until he's ready to see you, and you can't go home again." ~ Bill Bryson.
Bill Bryson is one of my favorite travel writers. I suggest starting with his novel about hiking the Appalachian Trail, A Walk in the Woods.
And lastly, someone who is not a travel writer, but is laugh-out-loud-on-the-airplane funny, Justin Halpern. Justin Halpern wrote Shit My Dad Says, after becoming internet famous for quoting his father. If you need a pick me up its an easy read, or pick up a copy of his, I Suck At Girls.
Thank God that there are good writers out there. I much more of a reader myself.
So, fabulous friends, what are you reading? Or, perhaps, writing?
Sincerely,
Sarah
Or I could just level with you. I'm not sure where I'm going with this blog tonight. I tried to illicit a striking moment of brilliance. I had a cup of Trader Joe's Vanilla and Cinnamon tea in my beautiful hand-thrown pottery mug. Realizing that wasn't enough, I started drinking a bottle of Shock Top. I won't admit to drinking both at the same time with different hands, but that may or may not have happened.
Moving on, I'll let some actual writers have your attention:
Wordless Scribe
Doug Wood is traveling around the world writing about his experiences. I've watched him grow into his own skin, and in my opinion he is one of the best writers of my generation. His voice is honest, real, and comes from a place of sharing within him that the rest of us wish we could access in ourselves. While I tried hard not to make mistakes in high school and beyond, Doug learned from his and became a better person. But I digress, you could just simply follow his blog.
"There are things you just can't do in life. You can't beat the phone company, you can't make a waiter see you until he's ready to see you, and you can't go home again." ~ Bill Bryson.
Bill Bryson is one of my favorite travel writers. I suggest starting with his novel about hiking the Appalachian Trail, A Walk in the Woods.
And lastly, someone who is not a travel writer, but is laugh-out-loud-on-the-airplane funny, Justin Halpern. Justin Halpern wrote Shit My Dad Says, after becoming internet famous for quoting his father. If you need a pick me up its an easy read, or pick up a copy of his, I Suck At Girls.
Thank God that there are good writers out there. I much more of a reader myself.
So, fabulous friends, what are you reading? Or, perhaps, writing?
Sincerely,
Sarah
Sunday, December 2, 2012
The Buterblog Is Being Reborn (TSP:48)
Hi There -
So its been awhile. Forgive me for not writing, I took a moment to grow up a bit on my own.
What am I up to now, you ask?
Well, I'm in Pharmacy School. I moved to Seattle. I've loved, lost, and found a new someone to hold hands with. I guess you could say I grew into my own skin.
Today I stopped believing in myself for a moment. You could say that I backslide and doubted my self-worth. We all doubt ourselves sometimes. I wasn't sure if moving, if Pharmacy school, if Seattle, was the right decision. I came to the conclusion that although I'm starting over - I'm not starting fresh. I have all my experiences, and all my friends in my corner. Henry David Thoreau once wrote, "Don't look back unless you plan on going that way."
It takes a writer to put the obvious into words. I am not the same person I was a year ago, a week ago, a day ago.
So I'm committed to blogging for myself. You may read it; but let me be clear, this blog is my public diary. I will read and consider your comments. But my life is about how I feel, what I think, and how the world influences me. So if it angers you, frustrates you, confuses you - feel free to let me know. Just don't expect me to always share your point of view. I guarantee if we both share enough, we'll disagree. So keep in mind that there is a difference between constructive criticism and telling someone how to live. Be respectful, and you'll have all my love........ even when you're wrong.
So finally, in the spirit of the Buterblog, a question - What helped you through a time of self-doubt?
Sincerely,
Sarah
**This is The Sarah Project (TSP): Post #48***
The Sarah Project was my initiative several years ago to write 365 blog posts about my road to self-discovery. Shamefully, I only made it to 47. In truth, I'm still discovering myself. I have decided to pick the project back up.(Wish me luck)
So its been awhile. Forgive me for not writing, I took a moment to grow up a bit on my own.
What am I up to now, you ask?
Well, I'm in Pharmacy School. I moved to Seattle. I've loved, lost, and found a new someone to hold hands with. I guess you could say I grew into my own skin.
Today I stopped believing in myself for a moment. You could say that I backslide and doubted my self-worth. We all doubt ourselves sometimes. I wasn't sure if moving, if Pharmacy school, if Seattle, was the right decision. I came to the conclusion that although I'm starting over - I'm not starting fresh. I have all my experiences, and all my friends in my corner. Henry David Thoreau once wrote, "Don't look back unless you plan on going that way."
It takes a writer to put the obvious into words. I am not the same person I was a year ago, a week ago, a day ago.
So I'm committed to blogging for myself. You may read it; but let me be clear, this blog is my public diary. I will read and consider your comments. But my life is about how I feel, what I think, and how the world influences me. So if it angers you, frustrates you, confuses you - feel free to let me know. Just don't expect me to always share your point of view. I guarantee if we both share enough, we'll disagree. So keep in mind that there is a difference between constructive criticism and telling someone how to live. Be respectful, and you'll have all my love........ even when you're wrong.
So finally, in the spirit of the Buterblog, a question - What helped you through a time of self-doubt?
Sincerely,
Sarah
**This is The Sarah Project (TSP): Post #48***
The Sarah Project was my initiative several years ago to write 365 blog posts about my road to self-discovery. Shamefully, I only made it to 47. In truth, I'm still discovering myself. I have decided to pick the project back up.(Wish me luck)
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