Hi.
Things are upside down right now. My grandmother passed away this past Thanksgiving, and her memorial is a few days before Christmas. If there is one thing that I'd ask Santa Claus for - it would be to go to her memorial service in Oklahoma. However, I have jury duty, and because I've postponed it once for school; it looks dismal that I'll legally be allowed to leave the state.
It's my 21st birthday today. I have gotten up at 2am to study for a 7:30am final, hung out with one of my best friends for an hour or so, slept for four or five hours, watched tv online, and put off studying for my final tomorrow. Which, I will promptly do after this post, at least that's what I've been telling myself. The importance of everything is so backwards. All I know is that I will make it through one day at a time and take life as it comes. I just don't know anything else.
There is one more problem. I love him, but things are class 5 white water rapids at the moment. We've been pattling in opposite directions and I'm pretty sure we flipped the raft. The question is if we can get back in. He says hes holding his hand out - I just don't know if I'm close enough to the raft anymore to grab hold. Although I want to. I just don't want to drown fighting the tide. And I'm exhausted. Sometimes you do too much to keep your head above water, believeing you can't breath under it. But maybe, just maybe, you can breathe in water.
It's sink or swim, but in the mean time, I could use a drink. Any suggestions?
Sincerely,
Sarah
